macam mane kalo korang terpakse memilih antara dua? dua-dua bagus... dua-dua menjadi idaman kau..tapi kau berhak pilih satu @ sebenarnya kau x payah pilih langsungkedua-duanya dan pilih org yang xde kene mengena dgn kau. pernah rase mcm tu?? aku lah tu...sepupu aku pun ade yg rase jugak mcm nie...tapi dye hebat. dya kapel n skandal dalam satu mase...aku x mcm die...hati aku ni berbolak-balik...kejap A kejap B....entah macam mane ntah aku ni...bile A ade dgn aku...aku happy....bile B dgn aku...pun aku happy.....bezanya cume mase..A ialah org lepas yg maseh menunggu...B pulak org skunk yang juga menunggu...2 2 menunggu....what am i supposed to do....? aku kalo boleyh x nak biar kan soalan ni main2 kat dlm pale hotak aku wat mase skunk sbb aku x ready nk bagi komitmen lebeyh2 pade bende yang bukan lagi real...samar2 lagi..berkabus lagi...ntah aku dpt ke x...ntah2 aku ngan org lain...dyowang xde pun tersenarai dlm calon hidup aku kat luh mahfuz....masalahnya.....bende ni dtg juga....confuse aku dibuatnya..
Aku ceritakan ea. Mula dgn A dulu. He's my long time ago but we still contact to each other. He is very nice person and I admit I love his character. He is really good in every relationship that he made. He knows everything about me. What I love, what I hate, what I half/half . Means he knows everything. He knows my family very well, understanding me much more and the things that I amazed about him is his love. He wait for me till now after 5 years,can you imagine that? Really tough day you know. Now we all is getting adult. Everybody will choose their own way, make a move right now. Same like me...I'll do the thing too in 17 years old now. Love is the thing that majority want to find now...
Story about the person named B, he is different. He love me to much. He say it everyday. He said that he will never marry another girl person if the girl is not me. What can I said...He just lay his 100% love on me ONLY! Simple word is obsess. He is the kind of that person. He just wanna make sure that I'll be his priority next. He will wait for me till his last breath..(he said)..I can't said no because that is his right to do so. I've said to him that he can choose another women after this and my responsibility is pass now. He just to love me,to love me. What can I say? I'm speechless. I didn't ask that. He gave me. All of that is his right....I've no right to block his feeling towards me. Who am I to do that? Now you understand right? I'm in between...the charming person and the lovest person. Both of them have these stuff. I'm not doing something stupid...I didn't ask them to do all this towards me.
The question is...
*when A will forget about me?
*when B stop obsessing about me?
*which one that i need to choose if both of them are the last choice that i have?
*will i be happy with A?
*will i be happy with B?
*when the true person come?
*who the person that i need to choose?
* is now the right thing?
*what will happen to B if i accept A?
* what will happen to A if i choose B?
* what will happen if I didn't choose both of them?
These the questions that already, always playing in my mind...The things that I think I need to do now is focus on my study n enjoy my life without love from the specific person. That's the thing that I need to do n I must do now...I don't want to think about love in this age..Its just make me messy..I'm not belongs to sit in this situation..I have my own life...I just wanna forget all of memory that have related with love..I'll take a long step to stay away from this hard, shit feeling..They all just sucks!
I just wanna stay away from this problems..Its make me dull all day..moody.. n I can't thinking well..I do not know whether I love both of them now..or I just play the game...or I just lay my beautiful feeling towards the wrong person.? what am I thinking right now?I know I have to make a choice..but not now young mans...I need my time..I need my life back..I hate being in this situation...making friends is everything for me....I love my single life..but I know I must do a thing that adult do next in 3 years or maybe when I'm getting 26 years old and maybe that time I know the person who is really made for me. Now I will shut up and hear what you say.Say everything that you wanna say guys. Say it but i'm will stick on my principe, I will never give both of you my answer now till the right time comes to me..Thank you for laying all your kindness to me. I appreciated it...but I need time...
Betul cakap kawan aku, yang aku patut lepaskan semua nie pergi. Jadi bende ni takkan ganggu aku lagi..Aku lepaskan korang..Aku takkan simpan korang as bakal lelaki aku...Aku takkan..korang buatlah pilihan sendiri nanti...Aku hanya dtg dengan seseorang yang aku pasti dia milik aku...Skunk ni aku x pasti sape2 pun...dalam dunia ni...aku percaya 2 org je....ayah n amza yang merangkap kawan aku, kawan baik aku n abg aku sendiri. He is my bro..so kalau nak tunggu jawapan dari mulut iman najjwa ni....tunggulah lagi 3 tahun ye..aku akan buat keputusan yang terbaik untuk kita semua. Aku yakin aku boleh buat. Aku x ank bincang apa-apa pasal hal cinta dgn korang lagi..lepas nie....makin keraslah hati aku...dan masa tu..aku harap korang boleh terima seadanya keputusan aku dan jangan sesekali mempertikaikannya. bila saja keputusan aku dibuat, maka semua perjanjian aku sebelum ni dengan kamu berdua TERBATAL!. mungkin aku telah memberikan harapan palsu kepade kau berdua. tapi memang betul..cinta zaman sekolah hanyalah harapan palsu..takkan pernah real pun. jadi sementara ade mase lagi 3 tahun...korang patahkanlah cita-cita korang tu awal2...supaya nanti lepas 3 tahun ..hati tu takdelah saket sgt...n cariklah org lain dlm tempoh 3 tahun ni....aku tetap disini....macam biase menjadi iman najjwa yang biase...yang bahagia...doakan aku mampu membuat kputusan yang baik..untuk kite semua...doakan aku x mati juga..sbb kalo aku mati..korang x dpt tahulah ape jawapan aku...doakan aku bahagia walau dgn sape pun aku pilih nanti sbb orang yang mencintai seseorang akan sanggup melakukan pengorbanan terbesar iaitu sanggup melihat kebahagiaan org yang dikasihinya dgn org lain...salam buat semua...bubye!!!
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